This morning, I am looking back on the past 3 or 4 months and realize how my life has changed forever. Anyone looking in from the outside would notice nothing. I still get up every day, have my coffee, Jordann gets ready for school, the dogs get fed, I go about my day, we gather in the evening for dinner, and night time rolls around. The mail gets delivered, the laundry gets done. Activities get scheduled and life goes on....But in those small spaces between the minutes, the seconds, in those gaps between actions and thoughts, is the empty space left by those whom I have lost. And I feel it profoundly and it affects my every step. And that is where grief goes as the rest of the world moves on and expects normalcy. It goes to those gaps between the seconds, the hesitation at the top of a deep breath just before you exhale, the flash of darkness never noticed when you involuntarily blink your eyes thousands of times during the day. Yes, their presence is with me, but so is their absence. Today, the sun is just peeking over the treetops in the back yard, so I will welcome another day and focus on the presence and the present. I will also cherish those still with me, as that is what I am able to do. And the rest of the world will go on, oblivious, expecting normalcy, when life is anything but normal.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 11:41:39 +0000
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