This strange country called Nigeria Koko: This is a very strange country. Kaka: You won’t get an argument out of me on that. In fact, this is the strangest country in the whole while world. We are too unique to be compared to other countries. Whatever we set our hearts to, we outdo everybody. Koko: In other words, if we find any other country claiming our strange title, we should sue. Kaka: Exactly. Any other country who wants to even compete with us has to show us aeroplanes parked at its gas stations. Koko: Oh that? Maybe that plane just made an emergency landing to refuel before proceeding on its journey. Kaka: Now, that is a junk argument. Since when did planes start using PMS or diesel or kerosene instead of aviation fuel? Koko: Whatever flies an airplane is aviation fuel, I think. So if a pilot decides that kerosene it is, then who are you to argue? What do you know about planes anyway? Kaka: I know foolishness when I see it unlike some people. Koko: Are you insinuating that the ministry of…. Kaka: I am insinuating that this country needs deliverance. Koko: Come off it, deliverance just because a pilot parked his machine in a gas station? There is really no big deal about that. And it wasn’t the pilot’s fault; the plane had a flat tire. This is one strangeness we should even celebrate. I mean, the pilot was good. It takes courage and uncommon dexterity to land a plane in a small filling station. The plane did not crash and the filling station did not catch fire. Kaka: So, it is a positive strangeness? Koko: At least there is no need to call in deliverance ministers. I do not think demons were involved at all. In fact, you should look on the bright side, the planes became comic relief of sorts and a distraction for the crowd. Kaka: Hmmn, you have a point there. Those who ordinarily would probably never get to travel by air on Thursday got a chance to pat the nose of the planes. I’m sure some smart ones would have even written their names complete with their signatures on the aircraft. Koko: When I saw the one at Sanya bus stop, my first thought was: ‘finally the federal government has seen our plight in this unending Lagos traffic jam and decided to provide air shuttle… Kaka: Yeeee! Now I think you are the one who needs deliverance from bad dreams. Koko: Well, the dream didn’t last for long now. I soon found out that the crowd around the plane was not a queue of passengers trying to get on board. Just people gaping with their mouths agape. Kaka: We still need to find out if the owner of that filling station was the owner of the parked aircraft or someone was just trying to ruin his business, at least for that day. Koko: We also need to give special recognition awards to those pilots who could land anywhere. Maybe one or more of those junk planes would end up in your compound even today. Kaka: That would be serious monkey play. If anybody lands a plane in my yard for any reason, they would need an injunction from Hague to retrieve it. If any plane lands and does so safely in my compound, it becomes mine. I would not take such excuses as the plane suffering from flat tire or failed brakes, if it comes into Koko’s compound, it becomes Koko’s plane. Koko: What kind of strange thieving logic is that? If it is not your plane it is not your plane. Kaka: If it is in my compound, it is my property. Koko: Was that not how you were ‘fifing’ fowls that strayed into your compound in the village? A plane is not a chicken o. Kaka: And my compound is not an airport o. Koko: Don’t put ideas into peoples’ heads. It is dangerous, very dangerous. There are still more junk planes on their way from the airport. Some people may start think of appropriating what is not theirs o, that these planes are their share of the national cake. Kaka: I can’t help you there. All I know is if a plane rolls into my compound, you and all your strange countrymen will need a court injunction from Hague to retrieve it. I have spoken and it is final. Shall we move to the next strange thing on the agenda?
Posted on: Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:08:22 +0000
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