This week has had its share of ups and downs. We (teachers) started back last Thursday and we have been in trainings and planning all week. The ups have been being at a new school and having an awesome team and staff. I really am super excited about my year. The downer has been that I went to knowing everything about my grade levels curriculum...to knowing a bare minimum...especially since our Texas standards changed dramatically. This is a time I have to listen to God when He whispers to let it go and to know that everything will work out. God winked at me twice this week. One of the very sweet secretarys came to me and explained they had been cleaning out their closet ( at school). In one of the empty boxes...she checked it before she threw it away and guess what was in it? Yep...an army man. A single little army man...in a box...on a middle school campus. Then, yesterday at a grade level meeting...I sit down...without looking where I was really sitting. As I settled, I glanced up and the desk in front of me had a clear bucket of...you guessed it...army men. I am sure there was meaning behind why this teacher had them...but how coincidental????? Maybe my Tate was trying to remind me that he is still with me. This week has been emotionally draining...as I am sure the next few weeks will be. I have been specifically discouraged in reading about Heaven. For some reason, I cant find the scripture that says When you get to Heaven your lost child(ren) will be meeting you at the gates with the same precious body and smile that they had when they left you. One of the things God is teaching me is to truly have faith. I know people tell me they are in awe of my faith...but let me tell you...I still am a massive work in progress. I dont always FEEL like having faith. Honestly....I dont. I dont always FEEL like praising God in this storm. I dont always FEEL like God is on my side- I know He is, but I dont FEEL IT. We have to be careful though with our feelings. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that our heart is deceitful. How many times have you heard, Just listen to your heart? or Go with what you FEEL! I think God is showing me that true faith...true faith...is believing. Not necessarily feeling...but believing. Personally thats hard for me because I am a big feeler. I choose to believe...that even though I cant feel it...He is healing me. I am choosing to believe that He is doing new things in me...that He is making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. ( Isaiah 43:19) I am choosing to believe that I know how my story will end. While my story sucks right now...I know it has a happy ending. Choosing. Not feeling. Choosing. I choose to believe that Tates loss was not in vain. My Father had a purpose for Tates brief life...even if I dont feel like I understand why.
Posted on: Thu, 21 Aug 2014 02:53:31 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015