Tips for Twats..! 1.Follow gym rules ,keep your shirt on and use your own sweat towel .. Dont burst through the gym doors like a poodle on speed and rip your t shirt off. If you havent got a better body than mine or the body of an odonis with deep sculptured contours dont do it ;the body of Mr Bean on aspirin most definitely doesnt count. To proceed and do 5 press ups whilst looking at yourself in the mirror and then doing 2 pull ups is a joke! Having a goaty and a bum fluff garden path on view isnt my idea of fun ...put your shirt back on . Omg you have picked my sweat towel up and buried your face deep into the damp smelly fluffy Cotton texture .You inhale deeply,exhale and inhale ... Stop breathing completely ........realisation sets in........is it the fact I have just rubbed my chest , bloody stained nose or my back and arse crackdown with it! Or the fact you didnt bring a fe@king towel you muppet ......it must have been the odour of arse crack ..you throw it to the floor and again try to look cool. Twat,i now have to get a clean towel. Please please come back tomorrow I will give you odour de armpit and odour de bollocks . I will also track down the German bird with the peeling feet and put in Thick crusty cheesy pieces from in between her toes some tender skin peelings and some fungal toe nail clippings .... Think of it as your protein shake ...my present to you... You will get to 10 press ups and 4 pull ups by the end of the holiday. To the 20 stone shaved headed , pit bull Russian with 20 inch biceps and really scary tattoos. Please dont give me evils , staring wont get me off the bench press machine any quicker . Flexing your overweight guns is not impressing me at all. I am on 100kg and now doing a decreasing pyramid and still repping down . Oh FFS...now I am scared are you thinking of bending me over the bar and having your wicked way with me ?,....... I relinquish at 60 kg , saving my energy just in case I need to insert the bar up your arse and use you as a flag pole . Oh FFs you are warming up on 30kg and your max is 50k. Sam Obourne can do more than that ....you twat ..... Oh. Whats that ?....Grunting as well .Yes grunting is definitely your thing your are a master grunter even better than Chris Osborne who can actual ....get off the bench without grunting.! To the bar manager.... When my wife and children are standing at the bar (because there are no seats ) please dont tell them they can only have a drink if they sit down... And not serve them ...Knobs worth ! It is a fe?king bar and I am all inclusive . My name is Tony Lewis and I will track you down and I will find you and I will .....sit on your face with my sweaty arse crack and you will serve me!
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 07:59:55 +0000