Today I am really missing my teenage boys. Evan Ennis and Gabe Ennis. I love those monkeys. I saw a young mother in the grocery store with 3 really young children. One was a few months old in a car seat, one was barely three and the middle crankiest of the bunch was about a year and a half. She was tired and I happened to notice using WIC to purchase her food. My heart went out to her. Lucky for me, I was not in a rush that day and started a conversation instead of being frustrated about how long she was taking to purchase her goods (putting things back she could not afford and price matching and the works). Usually I am rushed and looking for a shorter line. My heart went out to her. How hard it was for me at that time. My third child was born right after my husband was laid off and my oldest was only 3 and not potty trained. 3 kids 3 and under all three in diapers. No money. I was in tears daily. I had AMAZING friends that kept me going. Thank you to so many who may not be mentioned here, but especially my dear dear friend Robin Sanderson and her kids for keeping me together. For coming over to do my laundry and dishes when I just couldnt get up and going. For taking my kids so I could take a shower or go out for a moment and do some grocery shopping. I was not one of those moms who always wanted to be a mom. I am a mom because God told me to be one. No really. I am not kidding. My dream in life was to travel and be on stage dancing. I gave that up for motherhood because it was what I was supposed to do. I do not regret the decision. It was the best decision I ever made. But it has its challenges. Not all of us were cut out to be perfect parents. I guess that is why I feel the way I do today about other moms. I love them. I ache in their struggles, I cannot pass judgement. I have been neglectful. I have been spacey. I have been wrong. But I adore my kids more today than I did when my oldest was three and I was just struggling to get up in the morning. I enjoy my kids more today than ever. I am so blessed to be a mom to 5 of the most amazing people I know. There was a day shortly after I began my Phazes Fitness LLC business that I was late coming home again. I was working with a child just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He needed a lot of coaching and counseling along with his mother. I looked at the clock and groaned inside. Im late again. I am a horrible mother. No success outside the home can compensate for failure in the home. How can I dump this kid in front of me and get back to my own children? An amazing experience came at that moment. Go ahead and call me crazy or prescribe me some crazy pills, or believe what I say, an actual voice said to me, and I heard it, Your kids will be OK. They are strong. This child needs you right now. Be here at this moment. I will take care of your children. As I write this, tears come to my eyes. I have struggled to be a good mom and business person. I have asked for Gods hand in my life to guide me. HE has cared for my kids through so many of you. Good neighbors, good friends and good family. Christina Webb - I cant say enough how much you have come to my familys rescue. What a blessing it was that God put you across the street from us for so long. I remember so well the day I came home late and there were cops at my home. My friend Christy was holding my child and approached Its really bad It was bad. A child had gone missing and no one could reach me because my phone had died. Bill was out of town on business. It looked bad for me. I had great neighbors looking out for my kids and the situation turned out ok, But how close was I to being in the news? How easy it is to be that parent. Thanks to my amazing neighbors and friends that helped me during my darkest times. It does take a village to raise a child. Thank you for being my village. I hope I can be yours. And I hope I can love you as much as I have been loved. I hope I can be less judgmental of other peoples horrible moments as others have been with mine. I hope I can put my arms around other parents struggling with mistakes. I hope I can just love. THAT is the biggest lesson we teach our children as we react to other peoples mistakes. How you treat others, your kids will watch and learn. Sending loving thoughts to the Suwyns today.
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 14:00:34 +0000
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