Today I turn 52. Damn! Fifty two! What? [David Letterman face]… What? Not a round number or an age that society identifies as a milestone, but for some reason, today, I find myself looking back and thinking about everything I have lived thru. Everything I got, everything I lost, everything I believed in and everything I stopped believing in, the heartbreaks and pain I endured, the heartbreaks I caused, and the happiness and joy I was fortunate to have; my shortcomings, my trials and errors. I think of the most influential person in my life, ‘el ingeniero Silvano León González’, my father. The only man I know was incorruptible. The personification of ‘integrity. The only man who always acted according to his words, and spoke according to his believes and convictions; a wooden ox in the Chinese Zodiac. And I look back and I feel fortunate to have had him as a father as he taught me those values, but I resent that same fact every time I give in and fail to meet his example. And I think of the least expected influential person in my life, my son, Nicolas Gonzalez- Podesta. And I say ‘least expected’ because according to social expectations, it is we, parents, who are supposed to teach our children. And, as much as I want to believe I did teach him or pass some values on to him, today I realize I have learned so much from him! Rat in the Chinese Zodiac, he is generous and charming, two qualities I am sure I don’t have… And I know what you are thinking, ‘really?’ … Ha ha! His critical and curious mind helps him see what others can’t. And he knows how to live in the moment and fight for what he believes. He fought me for years on many issues to finally convince me he was right. I think of how much energy I put in looking for someone who could make me happy, only to realize that no one can make one happy, but oneself. Thank you Vero for pointing that to me … another unexpected influential person. And I think that what I thought were losses, in the end, were gains, otherwise they could have never been lost. And in the end, our paths cross each other, some times to ride along for a while, but in the end, we must part. So, why shedding tears for those who left us or we left? Why instead not celebrating we once rode along? So, today I turn 52 and I am so grateful to life for having had so many people in this wonderful journey. And I look forward to many more rides with all my friends and loved ones of today and those who might want to join me for the rest or part of my journey… Ok, I know, some of you must be thinking, ‘shoot! We will have to keep putting up with him? Shoot!’ … ha ha! In the mean time, today, I will be celebrating with Vero at the Arlington Drafthouse, where Cecily Strong (from SNL) and her friends will be making us laugh.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Jul 2013 16:08:15 +0000