Today Im remembering Aunt Jane and not a tear was shed. Rather, I cant stop smiling. Like the rest of us Gilberts, she saved everything. So, luckily, I have boxes upon boxes of memories. I have every (probably not EVERY)letter ever written, every report card, every musical program, every autograph ever signed by her teachers and her peers (the autographs and personal inscriptions alone are a dinner party), every photo, every Madonna and Child painting she painted, every Roman Catholic triptych she collected, etc. But, really, what should I say about her? Was she the sharpest dresser? Oh, please ,no : she married a man who had a country house on an orchard in New Jersey and she cultivated grapes. She loved the country. Was she about town : absolutely not - shed be embarrassed by that. She enjoyed socializing with close friends and shopping at the farm stand. But she was a member of the social set - because she loved her friends - not because she cared one bit about the scene. Was she a socialite? She was bred to be, but as is often the case - women bred to be often raise their eyebrows and dare anyone to challenge them as they walk in the opposite direction. What would she want us to say? Shed want us to say that she was a nice, sincere lady who loved her family and was cherished by all who knew her. She was righteous. She was strong. She carried zero pretense - zero. She never spoke a negative word - ever. The most I recall was her saying someone was special - which was the worst someone could be. She drove a fast mustang, as a young lady. She partially financed my dads law school education. She was generous and thrift at once (uncle Gary was too). She married in her 40s - no children - a school teacher and later held mgmt positions in the Philadelphia school system. She had me, Joseph Gary Williams and Ben as hers :-). She invited me over for long weekends to do whatever I wanted: we shopped, watched horror movies, ate ice cream. She was always happy for me : when everyone else was like wha? Youre doing wha?....she was happy! She always opened her front door with the words come in!! Come in!!!! And insisted that Gary light a fire. We had picnics. Every meal I made was 5 star, every boyfriend I had was perfect, every problem I had was worth a weekend of discussion, every mistake I made was just humor for us oooh Stephanie! Laugh laugh laugh. Then she got sick and started to slip away. I couldnt reach her ( she couldnt talk - but I didnt know it was So bad) so i drove to New Jersey, unannounced. She was too weak to go up and down stairs but she did. Uncle Gary was out shopping. We had a nice visit but I felt guilty because she couldnt make it back upstairs without him carrying her and he wasnt home. A couple wks later she was gone- I went over that afternoon after my dad called. A calendar hung in her kitchen. I looked at it - there was a huge flower drawn- it took up the entire page - with my name in the middle on the day Id visited. She loved my children. She was a celebrity musician at the age of 6: a prodigy so they claimed. A real sincere lady who was attracted to real people who were kind and compassionate. She performed in new york and Philadelphia and was part of Marian Andersons orchestra - first chair, always. But shed say dont say that!. Talk about the time we ate at the diner and how I liked Sanford and Son. And tell them about Thanksgiving - how I loved Thanksgiving and cooking for it - and the Vineyard - and Highland Beach. And my ballroom dancing. And my students and all the things Ive saved from them. And how Gary and I expanded our home - room by room. And how I loved my family (again) . And I miss them all. Keep smiling. Aunt Jane passed on the first day of spring - very fitting. Omg - the fantabulous memories. All positive. We should all be so lucky to leave memories like this. Be someones Aunt Jane. The world is better for it!
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 23:42:21 +0000
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