Today in 1785 - The Cwmbran Uprising. Cwmbran is a small town in Wales which gained notoriety for armed rebellion and the attempted sacking of London by its armies. The Cwmbrani hordes marched east across England, wiping out whole populations in Bristol, Bath, Swindon and Reading before running foul of the Londonite Defence Forces just outside Slough. Known as Sloughs Last Stand, thirty-thousand naked Cwmbrani berserkers died under the massed swords of only a few hundred Londonites before the Cwmbrani overlord Branwaladrcyfeiliogednyfedhydderch Jones called for a full retreat. This battle became the inspiration for the movie 300, though many of the smaller details were changed for dramatic effect. After the victory, such was the English ire that the Londonite forces (and the small army of the King of Slough) followed the Cwmbrani back into Wales, whereupon they levelled the town and took many Welsh slaves. To this day, the Welsh are not allowed full British citizenship, and are only allowed to work in menial roles, such as chipmongers, miners and purveyors of inferior light-fixtures. The English victory was celebrated with the traditional Feasting Upon The Artichokes, the Pickling Of The Wild Courgettes and the Festival of the Animal-Print Onesie in the forests surrounding London. Traditions which have continued on this day every year across the whole country. It is from this period in history that we get the phrase Rwyn meddwl y dylen ni fod wedi troi ir chwith ym Mryste.
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 06:38:08 +0000