Todays the day I put cancer away for good. I am going to pack up all the pink ribbon gifts I have been given and the hundreds of cards I have received in a treasure box. Tomorrow I will see three of my doctors for check ups. Then, the following Monday, I will go back to work in a huge step toward returning to normal. I dont know what my new normal will be. Cancer hasnt given me any epiphanies. I dont feel compelled to go climb a mountain, run a marathon, or start some healthy living exercise routine (walking my little dog, Millie, is enough for me). Ill still eat healthy and poorly (sorry, Im not willing to give up potato chips or French fries and Ill still have a cocktail or two a week). I dont feel called to some new ministry or cause (And, no, Dot, I will not be doing the Susan G. Komen 60 mile walk). What I do know is that each morning when I wake up, that first moment before I move, I dont feel the pain or numbness or see the scars or really short hair, and its like I never had cancer. Then I move and open my eyes and the reminders are right there with me once more, but these cancer free moments sometimes occur during the day now, too. But, I am feeling scared. Did all this treatment work? Now its just 3 years of wait and see. So, I will move on and try to put the fear of recurrence (25% chance) aside and go live my life as my doctor has suggested. So, from here on out, my Facebook postings will be about my boys, my doggie, and, hopefully, my many travel adventures. Thank you all again for all your love, support, and kindness. Every hug, gift, card, meal, helpful act, and like/comment on Facebook has been a blessing that I truly appreciated.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:52:42 +0000
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