Typically, Im not one to post anything real deep or controversial. I share quick, positive posts. I like a happy life. But this mornings service was thought provoking. Who knows, I may delete this as soon as I post it! Lol :-) I think it is important to remember that church is for sinners. For those of you so holy and just and righteous, confident to walk around with a pocket full of stones, please dont interact with those of us outside your circle. Youve done enough damage misrepresenting His cause. So, I went to church this morning not really knowing why I was going. It is a conversation I have most weeks on my way to church. So, again, in my car on my way to church, I was pondering why I was going. Its is not out of a sense of obligation or maybe it is. Im being a bit hypocritical going to church as a large part of me thinks organized religion is a bunch of shit. Thats probably just resentment Im feeling from being so let down. In 2003, on my way to TX to see my mom, I remember wanting to give God my all, specifically offering everything to God if He spared me my children. Then, everything began to fall apart. And it just kept going until I had lost everything I valued, including my relationship with most of my children. Yes, I made it through with a degree of success and have the opportunity to rebuild relationship w my kids, others have it worse, blah, blah, blah, I get it. But it sucks, none the less. So, I am on my way to church this AM not sure why Im going except my friend, Lisa Diaz Rose, has told me the sermon would really hit home. We are on a Superman series @ NewSpring and we have both found a lot of relevance in the messages thus far. Next, Im sitting in my seat, and I have opened my bible app and my Word.docx app, as I do every time I go to church, to keep notes I can reflect on later. In the old days we used pencil and paper. Churches do not provide bulletins anymore. I would always lose the papers anyhow lol Having the electronic version its much more useful to me. :-) The pastor is only a few minutes into his sermon and I have electronically jotted down a few things in my Word .docx app. Then, a woman in the row behind me and a few seats over, leans up and tells me, I dont know if you realize this, but what you are doing is very disrespectful and its very distracting. Then, she sat back down. So, I stood up leaned back to her and showed her my screen. It is really none of your business, but just so you understand, I am typing sermon notes. Look. See. Sermon notes. She would not look at or read my screen. After I sat back down, I heard her comment, She says its sermon notes. to the lucky fella beside her. Apparently, her neighbor had a vested interest and when I was doing as well. ;-) This interruption really disturb me. I had to struggle to get back into the semon I was so built up to hear. As an amalgam , this woman is why I quit going to church, she is why I resent church goers, why I will not allow myself to trust the church, for fear Ill end up like her. This woman is why I will not allow myself to trust anyone who boasts of being a Christian as a primary identity. The incident this morning was a reminder of the many friends I had before my divorce. Those who call themselves Christian as a means of separating themselves from the rest of the world as if they are on some type of higher plain or special group. Those friends of mine, that would not gossip, but would put out a prayer request for a familys financial needs or struggle with fidelity - wink, wink lol Those friends of mine who dropped me like a hot potato, didnt have my back, or support me in my time of need. They turned and hid - though im sure I was the subject of many prayer requests lol ;-) An atheist once told me, Religion is for weak minded individuals, afraid to make decisions. At the time, I pitied him. 10 yrs later, I realized I had grown to represent his argument. Is there a middle ground between resistance and cultists? Thanks for your interest in my ranting word processing. Now, back to my happy, feel good posts :)
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 17:59:26 +0000
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