Unresolved Anger is Dangerous :( It is important to accept our anger and dealing with it openly. The Bible tells us to “…be angry, but do not sin…” Ephesians 4:26 NKJV This means we must not deny our anger. Neither should we use our anger to justify wrong behavior. Positive conflict resolution begins with an acceptance of our anger and by allowing our Life mate to be honest about theirs. The second step in positive conflict resolution has to do with how we confront each other. Even though some anger can be dealt with in prayer or on a personal level, much of our anger related to our Life mates behavior must be talked out. This means we need to learn how to approach one another when we are angry. This is such a critical lesson for us to learn because uncontrolled or unrighteous anger can be so destructive. In learning to deal with confrontation, we first of all need to wait until our anger is under control, but to do it today. Ephesians 4:26b-27 tells us, “…do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” Going to bed on unresolved anger gives the devil an opportunity to interpret our spouse’s behavior to us and accuse them. The word “devil” in Ephesians 4:27 is the Greek word “diabolos”. It means “slanderer”. Wait for an hour or two until your emotions are under control, but don’t fall into the bad habit of going to bed angry and waiting for days or weeks to confront. Today’s anger is very manageable. Yesterday’s anger is dangerous because it has fermented and been affected by diabolos the slanderer. He is a master at dividing us and creating offenses. Remember, he is a liar and the father of lies. His job is to offend you at your Life mate and convince you that, they are against you and their motives are evil. When I get mad, I get quiet. That is NOT my natural personality. When I’m the maddest, I’m the quietest. That is ok on the short term, because it keeps me from saying or doing things I would regret in response to my anger. However, it is a very negative trait in the long term. Its wrong to block your Life mate out by refusing to talk. It is wise to give each other some time to calm down till you can come back and talk civil to each other. The goal for us was to not get mad and get quiet. We know how dangerous it is to give the devil an opportunity in our marriage through unresolved anger. We make it a practice to confront each other in love every day. It is just a matter of housekeeping in a good relationship. It takes anger and makes it a domesticated cat. Going to bed on anger allows it to grow into a raging lion. Anger is going to be in your marriage, but how you deal with it determines it’s size and nature. You don’t have to be afraid of anger. It is a reality in every marriage. The first thing you do is to allow yourself and your Life mate to be honest about your anger. You don’t have to be afraid of anger. It is a reality in every marriage. The first thing you do is to allow yourself and your Life mate to be honest about your anger. The second thing you do is confront today, but wait a few minutes or a few hours until you are in control and when you know you won’t say or do anything you’ll regret or that will damage your Life mate. Talk openly with your Life mate about this issue. Make a commitment to allow each other the freedom to talk about your negative feelings without being punished. Also, make a commitment never to go to bed angry again without talking things out and mapping out a plan to resolve the issue. This is crucial to the success of your marriage. ~
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 16:59:43 +0000
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