Upper Room Daily Reflections Link to Upper Room Daily Reflections -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Creative Caregiving 06 Nov 2013 10:01 PM PST Today’s Reflection ONE OF THE STICKIEST PROBLEMS when a loved one becomes incapacitated concerns driving and owning a car. To this day my husband, Bob, thinks he can drive, and a year ago convinced the clerk at the DMV office he needed his license renewed (incredible since he was sitting in a motorized wheelchair and couldn’t stand for his photo). He doesn’t drive; we won’t let him. And that is that. My friend went through a difficult situation with her mother, Lorayne, who had been moved to a nursing home. Not only was Linda dealing with her own emotional grief, she was taking care of her mother’s neglected household. There were car payments on a car her mother would never be able to drive again, and expenses were mounting. Linda made the decision and told her mother she was going to sell her car. The conversation went something like this: “Mom, you are not getting strong enough to drive your car again. My car is in good shape, and we only need one. I think we should sell your car and get rid of those payments.” “Oh, I need my car. I can drive. No, your idea is a bad one.” “Mom, when you get ready to drive again, you can always buy a new car. All my life you’ve told me you want a candy apple red car, and you’ve never had anything but black, white, or tan. How about when you get ready to buy another car, you buy your red dream car?” Lorayne smiled at her clever daughter and nodded. “Okay.” The next week Linda sold the car. At about the same time that the car sold, Lorayne had a stroke and went back into the hospital. The fragile octogenarian grew more and more frail. She couldn’t talk, and the quality of her life diminished rapidly. Sadly, her time with us came to a quick close. … Today Bob brought up his desire to drive again. I gave him a sharp, curt “No way.” Then I remembered Linda’s skillful example. We caregivers need to search for the “candy apple reds” that might soothe the losses our loved ones have to face. Prayer Good and gracious Lord, my care receiver has lost the ability to _________________. Show me ways to dignify and respect all dreams in this life and beyond. Amen. - Nell E. Noonan The Struggles of Caregiving From pages 29-30 of The Struggles of Caregiving: 28 Days of Prayer by Nell E. Noonan. Copyright © 2011 by Nell E. Noonan. All rights reserved. Used by permission of Upper Room Books. bookstore.upperroom.org/ Learn more about or purchase this book.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 08:16:11 +0000
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