WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IN AN ITALIAN FAMILY 1) You will never play professional basketball. 2) You swear very well. 3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one relative who is either a nun or a priest. 4) You think you sing very well. 5) You have no idea how to make a long story short! 6) There isnt a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone. 7) Many of your childhood meals were boiled and store bought pasta or sauce/gravy was a mortal sin. 8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling. 9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer. 10) Youre exceptionally poetic after a few bottles of vino. 11) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations. 12) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Maria, Teresa, Gina or Sophia and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Maria Teresa Sophia. 13) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you. 14) You may not know the words, but that doesnt stop you from singing. 15) You cant wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking. 16) Youre not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency. 17) There wasnt a huge difference between your last wake and your last christening party. All life is to be celebrated. 18) You are or know someone, named Anthony/Tony or Toni/Antoinette. 19) If you dont know Tony - then you know Sal. If you dont know Sal or Luigi, then you know Joe, Frank, or Dino. Then you also probably know Rocco and his brothers. 20) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret. 21) You have Italian Alzheimers, you forget everything but the grudges! 22) Italian Leftovers is a euphemism for spaghetti and meatballs. Mangia!!! 23) You never need a spray tan - you always have warm coloring! If you are fair - you still tan beautifully (after the 1st burn). 24) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of warmed spiced vino. 25) Theres no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes 26) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other. Not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 19:01:36 +0000
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