WHATS TO STOP US? If God came and said, I want you to be happy the rest of your life., what would you do?~ Bernie Siegel ;)~ Good question....I think my answer to that lies in the question itself. I mean, I know Ive asked myself that same thing many times. In fact, I yelled it at myself more than a few times, and followed it up with, What the *#$* is wrong with you?. Tonight in retrospect, I know that I couldnt answer it because I didnt, and wouldnt, allow myself the thought of being happy at all, because I didnt like who I was in the first place...Its funny how some things can, and do change....right? I think it comes down to my subtle acceptance of WHAT IS...AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE I guess. They are strangely related after all....at least for me. And as frustrated as I have been over the years with some of the unwanted results of my own actions, life today is pretty damn good. I cant see anything around me that isnt what I want it to be. Sure, money sucks, even when you make more of it, you still have those times that come where you struggle because of it...and then of course theres me again...the biggest struggle I know... Man, can I make myself crazy...I am not only my own biggest critic, I demand more from myself than I give myself a chance to actually achieve before I start to criticize it away...and demand more....then ask me...Whats taking so damn long? Those long talks with me, can be brutal, and let me tell you...I hate when I say to me, See I told you so...Grrrrrrrrr...Stupid me...but you know I am just being that me again tonight...and trying in my own way, to tell me, Im Ok...for a skinny white guy...I made it through another week...Yay!,,,,and now I can quit gripping about it... Tonight I am happy, and it comes from inside, and it was helped out a little bit by my Baby~Huey...You see, he, told, me, he was proud of me. For making the decision in my life to change life...and for just being me in the process...Wow...if that doesnt shake you back into the reality of whats really important in the first place...what does? All of this from my son, who told me his own accomplishment tonight...Hes fourth in a class of 500 this semester at school! You go baby~huey! I love him...and truth be told...he is the one thing I cant criticize myself about one iota..... So thats my little story tonight I guess...It comes at the end...as it began...with the thoughts of my own choices...then...now...and for the future...theyre mine to make....mine to live with....and mine to deal with as well...what ever was...is....and you know what? I think it shall be as well...... Have a great night everyone, tomorrow is a new day, and I get to do the two job thing again....Its been awhile....but....say-la-veee...cause tonight I think I can sleep just fine not lettin another thing...bother me..... thanks for reading, Lance ;) We continue because....we can youtu.be/zikZw9lzKsE
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 06:46:34 +0000