Warning: very long but funny post. I consider my life to be anything but boring. We have many smh moments, some not as laughable as others, but crazy tends to find me & mine none the less. I will now provide, for your entertainment, a prime example: Last night I was stopped by a state trooper. He was extremely nice and after hearing my explanation as to why my tag sticker is expired (2nd time in that many weeks, smh) he took my drivers license and registration back to his car to make sure all was legal, and hed get me on my way I dont care who you are, sitting in the car with the lovely blue glow flashing behind you makes you feel like a common criminal. My hubby made light of the current situation, trying to improve my somber mood. Its fine honey, you arent in trouble! You werent speeding, but you really got to get this tag thing fixed. Mr. Trooper comes back to the car, hands me my license and reminds me to get my tag taken care of, and then drops the bomb. Mam, are you aware there is a warrant for your arrest? He could tell by the way my jaw landed in my lap that I was not your typical hardened criminal. Come with me he said with a grin. Crap, seriously this must be a mistake! Is he kidding, am I going to jail? Will it be like #OITNB? I will not be a prison wife! Omg. Is he going to handcuff me? Whew, he just wanted me to look at his computer screen. Mam it appears that on June 21, 1991 you received a fishing ticket that was never paid. Really? Are you kidding me? Its all coming back to me now. I was the ripe old age of 17, and 8 months pregnant. Now that fact in itself proves my stellar amount of responsibility. (smh) My new hubby took me fishing because we were poor and I was fat & miserable and whined because he fished without me all the time. In my plumpness I unknowingly waddled 2 docks over which just so happened to be on the Catawba side of Lake Lookout. I ran into the woods to pee right about the time the game warden appeared to ticket me for fishing without a license. Now had I not wandered on foot across the county line, Id have been legal. He could have given me a break, but I guess he had a quota to meet. (smh) Now it could have been the fact that I delivered a baby 2 weeks later, or that I was young and dumb, or a combination of all, but evidently the $75 never was paid. Now fast forward 23 years. I am a registered nurse. I have had so many background checks I cant count! During nursing school, every new job I ever had as a nurse. Its very common practice! Never have I been notified of my criminal past! Mr. Trooper laughs and tells me it says the paperwork has been destroyed so I cant just go pay it, but to go by the magistrates office to see how to take care of it. I am free!! He didnt take me to the pokey! So naturally when we got home, I had a bit of swagger. I lowered my saggy pants, cocked my ball cap to the side, and tilted my head back ever so slightly. After all, Im a thug now. So if you were planning to mess with me, dont. Im a hardened criminal ;) Happy hump day! (Smh)
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 11:01:48 +0000