“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as WE are.” This quote caught my attention when I read it a few years ago, and since then I have come to believe strongly in the message behind it. We don’t see things as clearly as we should, as they really are, because our vision is often clouded by our own points of view, our own expectations and our own ideas of what is right and what is wrong. Everything we see, we interpret based on those ideas, and this would not be a problem, except that unfortunately, we then tend to judge anything different from our ideas as wrong and subject to criticism. Very simply, that is not true. A very valuable tool that I think we should all practice using is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to actually pretend that you are that other person. People who do not have that ability are quick to criticize everything they see or hear without truly trying to understand others. I believe it is important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. The size will be wrong, and they may not feel comfortable, but it will certainly give you an insight into how it feels to be wearing those shoes and will help you to think from that person’s point of view. With practice, you can build on this ability, and I believe it can make a huge difference in your relationships and how you perceive people. I sometimes have to remind myself to do so. I may find myself just about to criticize somebody for the way that person is dressed for example, but I remind myself that I have no right to do that. Other times I might get upset because someone didn’t call back or because that person did something that I didn’t quite understand. Again, I remind myself that I should give him or her the benefit of the doubt and not assume that they had bad intentions or hidden motives. Unfortunately, it is human nature to think negatively about people, because they are not like you or because they did something that you wouldn’t have done. You may even take it further and talk to others about that person. But there are several facts that should be taken into consideration: 1. Not everyone has to be like you. 2. There are probably circumstances of which you are unaware, so don’t assume anything. 3. The person may be inexperienced or may simply have made a mistake, as we all do sometimes. 4. By jumping to conclusions you will never understand the person. Instead, talk to them. Let’s face it, we are all comfortable with the way we are, in terms of the way we dress, the way we speak, eat, etc. We judge others based on how different they are from us. But each person has his own level of comfort and his own inner beliefs and should be respected for who he or she is. After all, it is not our role to judge. Let’s leave that to God, and let’s remember that each person has his own personal and private relationship with God. If we want to take an active role in life, we can do so by enriching others’ lives by being good role models, but not by judging and not by criticizing. The next time you are about to be critical of somebody or even think badly of them, stop yourself. I know I will try to. Its tempting (and sometimes maybe even fun, because gossip creates good conversation) but it isn’t fair to that person. Just think of it: you could be that person. The truth is that we are all that person to somebody. People will always find some fault in us. It is impossible that everything about us will be perfectly satisfactory to everyone around us! The way I see it: if you don’t want to be talked about badly, don’t talk badly about others. Better yet, try to develop the ability to not even think badly about others.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Oct 2013 12:57:41 +0000
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