We spend our lives today living the pretence that men and women are the same despite it being overwhemlingly obvious we arent. Masculine conversation is direct and task oriented. Feminine conversation is indirect and people focussed. In social interactions - the male gender role is dominant and active. The female role is historically submissive and passive and perhaps therein lies the foundation of this failure to communicate in the modern world. If the female engages in this default behaviour - it relies purely on men being aware of whats going on - situational awareness. Men that exhit this trait tend to have no difficulty with women in a social setting. So from the very start - classic gender role behaviour results in a restricted choice for women - limited purely to those men that are situationally aware or socially smart. BUT a socially smart man might be a complete a*****e. It might be simply a clever persona he has created to optimise outcomes. On the flip side the greatest guy in the world might be having an off-day, appear completely clueless and therefore fails before he even realises what was happening. My 5 Tips! 1. Dont live a life of limitation. Talk to men. The more you talk to them - the easier it gets. Think of it as a muscle - the more you use it - the stronger it gets. 2. BE DIRECT: We dont read between the lines. We cant see the subtle hints. Dont hope or think we will :) 3. DONT initiate conversation with a question. It instantly drives a man in to default mode and the entire conversation will result in him trying to come up with a logical solution to your question. 4. Initiate the conversation with a COMPLIMENT: Make it as obvious as possible. Nothing is out of limits. 5. Persistence. Attempt this at least 3 times with the same man. It takes at least 3 attempts before the man can usually respond correctly. Ignore his first couple of responses. Most men even the most confident tend to get brain freeze initially as the logical viseral and emotional brain are stimulated simultaneously from the initial interaction. So thats some of what I told the lady on the bus! :)
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 06:27:37 +0000