What Does It Mean To Be A Righteous Wife? While many of us may try, there are probably still areas we need to work on and improve so we can be a better wife. I know that nobody is perfect. It never hurts to make the effort to better ourself in the areas where we fall short. I have a feeling this post will not go over very well with a lot of people, as I know these are not popular thoughts (especially in today’s society). However, they are truth and that’s the standard I want to be my measure….not this world’s standards. So I’m going to share whats on my heart. I’m mostly writing this as a reminder to myself anyway. Whether you are single, engaged, a newlywed, or have been married for years, these principles can help you be a more righteous wife, which will please both your husband and God. So, here goes: 1. Keep God first, your husband second. Your relationship with God should ALWAYS take priority in your life, and you should always be striving to please Him. When you do that, the rest of your priorities are more likely to be in order. Make time for quiet time, reading, and spending time in prayer so you can have the right heart and attitude throughout the day. And notice who comes second. Not you (selfish). Not your parents, family, friends, kids, job, hobbies, etc. Your HUSBAND is next. God wants it that way for a reason. A lot of households are out of order because lots of wives put their children before their spouse, and that is not the way that God designed the family. Eventually, children leave. God entrusts them with us temporarily to raise up in a Godly home, so they can go out and multiply and do the same. But that’s just it…..they leave, and you are left with your spouse. That’s why so many marriages crumble when the kids are grown…because couples lose sight of focusing on their own relationship and marriage and make the kids the sole priority. Kids LOVE to see their parents in love (even if they act like they don’t). It is really beneficial for them to see displays of affection and parents honoring one another and putting one another first. It teaches them the foundations of marriage so they will hopefully duplicate that healthy relationship in the future. It is our job to set an example of marriage for our kids and model for them the type of marriage we hope for them to have. Be the kind of wife you want your daughter to be, and the kind of wife you want your son to marry. 2. Understand the commitment of marriage. Marriage is not to be viewed as a promise, a contract, an agreement, or anything temporary. It is a commitment before God & others and care needs to be taken NOT to allow it to be broken. When you accept someone as your spouse, you are vowing not only to your husband, but also to God and before Him to do right, even when its difficult. We have to understand the weight of our commitments. It is better to not make a vow at all than to make a vow before God and break it. In a society where divorce is the easy answer and common practice, we seem to have lost the understanding of the seriousness of marriage. It is not meant to be a rash decision made based on emotions or feelings. And divorce is not an easy way out like we think it is. God developed marriage as the first basic unit of society. He chose your spouse for you before you were even born!! He hand-picked that person especially for you, and you especially for him! That is why girls don’t have to go out seeking a spouse. If they stay in His will, He will put that person RIGHT in your path. Trial runs with others...That’s how so many of us end up with ‘baggage’ and regrets….we try to force our own future rather than trusting God and His perfect timing. Now, does that mean it’s going to be easy? No. Marriage is work, and God expects us to put effort into it. When things get tough, that’s time to turn to Him in prayer & hand it over to Him. Not time to bail. 3. Submit. Oh boy, here we go. I can remember being a little girl (probably middle school age) and hearing someone tell me that women need to submit to their husbands. My reaction then was much like most women, and like the world’s view of submission. I remember saying “There is NO WAY I’m going to be some man’s slave and stay at home and cook and clean for him!” It was not until I truly understood submission. Submission is not meant for bad…it’s meant to give us more freedom actually. We have such a negative connotation of the word because we do not fully understand it. We are called to submit to our husbands after our submission to the words of God & His commands. Another reason our households are so out of order is because so many women are trying to rule the roost and wear the pants in their relationship. That is not how we’re made or equipped. Even if you have a ‘stronger’ personality than your husband, HE is still called to be the leader of your home. The husband’s job is to be the spiritual leader of the home…..to protect from the enemy and to provide for the family. He is to stand in the doorway of the home like a soldier with the armor on to keep the enemy out. The wife’s job is to be inside the home, supporting her husband by managing the household and praying for him. God did not equip women to fulfill the man’s role, and vice versa. I know we live in a very feminine society, and I am not saying we’re not meant to be 50/50. (Actually, I believe marriage is 100/100!). I’m saying God equipped each of us to have a role within marriage and the family, and when one is trying to serve in the other’s role, things are out of whack from the way God designed it to be. 4. Speak edifying words only. Women are the world’s worst to get together and “husband bash” …and almost have a competition to see whose hubby has the worst faults. It is NOT acceptable to talk negatively about your husband. No excuses. We should always speak edifying words about him and be building him up to others (even if there are things about him that drive you BONKERS!!). It is so tempting to get sucked into that. YES, all of our men do things that drive us crazy. However, by nagging them or complaining to our girlfriends about it, that is NOT going to make him change. We especially have to be careful talking negatively about our spouse to our family….because it can change their opinion of them, and there is no undoing that. Sometimes we just may be mad temporarily, but that is not something they can erase from their minds as easily. Always, always talk to God about it before you open your mouth to anyone else. Lots of times you’ll see that is enough “venting” to make you feel better. Do not tear your husband down to his face or behind his back. And on that note, it IS okay to PRAISE your husband. If he works hard, let him know you appreciate it. If you love that he always makes your coffee, give him some praise for that. If he’s an AWESOME dad, let him know you think so. Whatever it is that you love or appreciate about him, TELL HIM. (It’s funny how that works…men seem to thrive off praise and it makes them want to do more good things for you!) 5. Manage your home well. A husband should be able to trust his home, his money & his children in your care, that you do good with them. A righteous wife doesnt resent laboring for what is profitable to her family. Is a place of comfort, happiness & rest. Her husband can be confident in her efforts. Shes a joy & a blessing in his & his childrens life. 6. Do it anyway. There are lots of things we don’t want to do, and even though we enter into marriage claiming unconditional love, our actions reflect a very conditional basis. We want to cook him dinner when he does nice things for us first. We only want to compliment him when he compliments us. If he doesn’t do this, we won’t do this….That’s not how it works. Your husband may not always be fulfilling his role, but that is between him and God. It is NOT our job as wives to correct or discipline our husband. We are not his mama. We are his wife. His helpmate. His companion. You should do things for your husband because he is your husband, NOT because of things he is or isn’t doing for you. Of course it’s easier to want to do nice things for him when he seems to notice and appreciate them, but he may not. Do them anyway, because ultimately you are seeking to please God, so think of it as being obedient if nothing else. Serving your husband on a conditional basis is selfish and immature, and that does not honor God bringing him into your life in any way. 7. Communicate. He is not a mind reader, and it’s not fair to expect him to know or understand your wants/needs or what you’re thinking if you don’t TELL HIM. This is such a simple concept, but so many disagreements result from a lack of communication. Learn to communicate with him. Ask him questions. Listen. And don’t nag/fuss/yell. TALK. Like a normal person. 8. Remember the 80/20 principle. Do not put yourself in compromising positions. The grass may be greener on the other side, but that’s because it’s being fertilized with poo. You married your spouse because he probably had about 80% of the qualities you wanted in a man. Lots of affairs happen because people are seeking to find someone else to fulfill that 20% their spouse is lacking, and they don’t realize the 80% they are throwing away in doing that! If you will focus on building up your husband for that 80% and focus on his STRENGTHS (rather than focusing on the 20% & weaknesses….nagging, trying to change him, etc.), you will both be SO much happier. Be content with what you have. It’s all about your attitude and perspective…think about what you are choosing to focus on. If you are constantly telling him things he is doing wrong and things you wish he’d change or do differently, you are tearing him down. It may help to write out all the things you love about your husband. If you don’t have a very long list, maybe you should blame that on the person in the mirror. After all, you’re the one who married him, right? 9. Strive to please him. This is tough for us girls too. We are SO selfish and self-centered, we are ALL about ME and what others can do for us. We think we ‘deserve’ so many things. Imagine how happy it would make your husband if you tried to cook meals he likes, talk about and take interest in things that interest him, and do things with him that he likes to do. He would probably be tickled to death!! Yes, you may HATE watching football, but that’s not the point. The point is the man you love loves watching it. When you are willing to sacrifice with the small things like that, I truly believe that helps his love grow deeper for you and it will return tenfold in some way. This also means taking care of yourself. Exercise, eat healthy, and try to dress up for him sometimes. No, I’m not saying you have to be a little trophy wife, but if you take care of yourself, you’ll feel more confident and desirable, and you will both benefit from that. Lots of women “let themselves go” after getting married and having kids. (I know, lots of husbands do that too…I don’t think that’s okay for them either). I want you to take care of yourself for your husband. 10. Pray for him. We should pray for our husband every.single.day. No excuses, ever. He NEEDS your prayer. Think again about his role as the head of the household. Since marriage is so sacred to God, you know the enemy is going to be constantly trying to attack, which means our husband is constantly going to be battling spiritual warfare. He needs for you to cover him in prayer daily to help him stay strong. I truly believe if we focus on being the BEST wives we can be for our husbands, God will honor that and your husband will step his game up as well. Even if he doesn’t, our goal should be to live a life that is holy and pleasing to God. If nothing else, do it out of obedience to Him. Praying God will bless you in your marriages. Any advice you’d like to share?
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 20:03:27 +0000
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