When I want to meet with someone I give them options, like with this recent email I sent to certain client: Jim, you wanna stop by or just wanna phone it in? Or I can come over. Or I can send it in smoke signals. Or I can tell a deaf guy, who will probably get all the information wrong, because, you know…deaf and all. Or I can write it in German. Or I can hire a German to write it in English. Or I can buy a small pygmy goat, and train him to do one thing and one thing only, which is to one day recite a total of 5942 words to perfectly explain what we need for the piece, only to suddenly die directly afterwards from the imminent thought of knowing his life will be utterly meaningless after relaying such information. Or I can tattoo it on an illegal alien as his payment for having me haul his butt over the border. Or I can go back in time and tell Ronald Reagan to recite the instructions as a monologue in his 1965 classic “No Place For A Lady”, which you can then download off some pirate site and watch at your leisure. Or I can tell Ozzy Osborne to record it backwards and put it on an album, thus furthering the notion that he is in fact the Dark Lord. Or I can send you and email, which I promise will be very long.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 15:01:31 +0000
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