When James was first invited to Lily’s house to have dinner he had to admit he was a little nervous but he fully expected the whole thing to absolutely fine and normal once he got past his nerves. He was wrong. Oh Merlin he was so very wrong. It started going downhill when Lily’s sister opened the door, her eyes like slits and her hair pulled into an aggressively tight bun that somehow pulled her whole face back into a lizard-like mask. James had faced werewolves, Sirius’ botched attempts at pranking, mini death eaters, regular death eaters and, if Peter’s cooking was anything to go by, Satan himself, and yet he still did not fear as much for his life as he did when he realised he had been narrating his thoughts on Petunia’s appearance out loud. Thankfully Lily came to rescue James before Petunia’s shaved bear of a boyfriend could so much as menacingly crack his knuckles. Mr Evans had already met James and they had a somewhat… rocky relationship. Mr Evan’s loved James but at the same time he had the ‘no one will ever be good enough for my daughters’ thought that most fathers have so he was unfortunately conflicted and took the confusion out on James. James usually didn’t mind, he was a well-meaning man really, but it did make him hard to predict. It didn’t help that he was built like a brick shithouse either. Turns out the woman in Lily’s family tended toward beefier men and James, well, he looked as though a strong wind could bowl him over next to the two buildings sitting across from their significant others. Mrs Evan’s was just carrying out a beast of a roast, followed by Mr Evans with the vegetables, when a loose nail on the floor caught her shoe, causing her to trip and fall face first into James’ lap. This sparked the beginning of the most intensely awkward dinner that James had ever had the misfortune of attending in his young life This included the time Sirius’ mother had told him that he could get pregnant to one of her sons under the influence of polyjuice potion so they could have beautiful pureblood babies. While this was horrifying, it probably only got worse when she offered to spike Regulus or Sirius’ drinks when they weren’t looking if he wanted to be the male partner. She even offered her own hair. And this was worse. Just think on that. Between Lily choking on her own spit from trying not to laugh, needing brain bleach from catching Petunia and the overgrown Christmas ham she called a boyfriend getting freaky in the bathroom, finding Mr and Mrs Evans leather collection in a closet he thought was an ensuite and the small fire James had set on accident that had turned into a large fire, James wasn’t entirely sure if he would be invited back. All in all it had been a veritable shit storm. Who knew Lily was the normal one? Surprisingly Mr and Mrs Evans approved wholeheartedly of him, though they did say it was sweet that he was so shy, quiet and polite. He left at the end of the night looking dazed and confused as Lily kissed him goodbye and apologised for her family with the tiniest of smirks. So this was how she always put up with him. Merlin he loved her. Needless to say Sirius had almost expired laughing when James finally told him what had happened, but then, who wouldn’t? Especially when you’re forced to answer the question: “How did it go?” with: “So I burnt down most of her house…” first, because it was the least horrifying thing that happened that night. James still has nightmares and Lily, well, she found out just how much her wonderful boyfriend loved her when she found out he had accepted another dinner invitation from her mum. - Cristie
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 09:26:49 +0000
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