Winter Solstice Offering Rebirth is dying of the old that becomes the fertile ground for the new. I take great risk, as wanting to be an inspiration for others, to also be vulnerable. Being myself is more important to me than being a teacher this is why I post. As a matter of fact I dont consider myself a teacher but I am continually learning how to share with others. When I journal during meditation, you must understand I dont intend to share, I write for myself. Afterward, I choose to offer, if it can be of any use to any one. I know we are all the same. Not just a little, we are one, each one of you is close to my heart as I am close to yours, for very specific reasons I assure you. This journal is in the form of a prayer, which is usually what my journaling is: I surrender... My pain and sufferings My disconnect, withdraw and protect, not knowing how to trust, how to open up etc My attachments to Wanting to be understood, effective, helpful, appreciated, wanting to make a difference, wanting to be successful, wanting to light up others - they dont need me - only thing I can do is light up myself, overflow without attachment to the fruit of my activities I surrender my anger, failures and disappointments What else is there? All hopes and dreams are escape to not face the blocks, where love and joy are hitting the blocks Therefore there is nothing to long for, nothing to grasp. Oh supreme light, forgive me for asking, please guide me, help me release and let go what must be released and let go of. Please help me manifest and activate what wants to be birthed through me in my life and in this moment. Dearest God of infinite grace, no matter what my efforts, I seem to only make mistake after mistake. No matter my willingness to be a servant to love, I only seem to make mistake after mistake. Oh God of supreme grace, please show me what I can do better. Have I not shown enough willingness? I cannot pray well, I cannot concentrate well, I cannot do anything well, except surrender completely, give up all my doing, surrender into emptiness, smile - it is the only thing I know how to do best. Everything else is filled with imperfections. Trial and errors I dont mind, but when I want the nectar, the supreme truth, I am utterly helpless - all I can do is be empty, completely give up understanding anything at all of this great mystery, the mystery of life, the mystery of being, the mystery of transcendence of the illusion of time and space, the mystery of creation, the mystery of pure love - pure love so radiant one can sustain its vibration only for a passing glimpse. And all I can do is return to simplicity, to nothing... But this time around, my smile is ever bigger because I know that I am continually getting closer to you. Release all tension into the arms of God. Release all longing into the arms of God. God is the whole and each part, it is both personal, the source in all, and impersonal, the whole, the formless sustaining the creation of time and space, mere specs on the surface of reality. Oh Dearest God, I am back to begging. Please give me something tangible, something I can bring back and give to others. One more time all I can do is surrender into emptiness, accept that even nothing is the greatest gift in my spiritual learning. I accept all your gifts gracefully. Unbearable bliss, release of endless grief Glimpse of blessing of the supreme one, which is nothing but surrender itself. This is why the gift cannot be shown nor can it be given. Life itself is the complete teaching on surrender. Love, Joy and Acceptance is the gift. Happy winter Solstice everyone! Holly Days Cheers! Christophe
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 08:49:35 +0000
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