Witch Jokes Which witch joke will have you boiling over with laughter. Q: Who turns the lights off at halloween? A: The light’s witch! Q: Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? A: Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky! Q: What do baby witches play with? A: Deady bears! Q: Who went into a witche’s den and came out alive? A: The witch! Q: What do you call a pretty and friendly witch? A: A failure! Q: What does a white witch turn into when the lights go out? A: The black witch! Q: How do you make a witch float? A: You take two scoops of ice cream, a glass of coke and one witch…! Q: What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A: A road hag! Q: What goes cackle, cackle, bonk, bonk? A: A witch laughing her head off! Q: What goes cackle, cackle, boom? A: A witch in a minefield! Q: Why was the witch late for the party? A: She’d lost her witch-watch! Q: What’s the best way of talking to a warty witch? A: By telephone! Q: What do you call a witches motor bike? A: A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick! Q: What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels and is totally rad? A: A witch on a skateboard! Q: What do you call a witch with one leg? A: Eileen! Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces? A: A witch on a trampoline! Q: How can you tell when a witch is really ugly? A: When a zombie bites her it closes it’s eyes! Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside? A: A witch dressed up as a cucumber for Halloween! Q: What is really evil and really ugly on the inside and green on the outside? A: A witch that has turned into a zombie! Q: What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off! Q: What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly? A: Pot luck dinner! Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling? A: She saw there was no future in it! Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat? A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen! Q: What do witches eat for dinner? A: A real toad from the hole! Q: Did you about the witch that had to cook dinner for a whole year? A: She went potty in the head! Q: How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye? A: When it comes out in conversation! Q: What happened to the naught little witch at school? A: She was ex-spelled! Q: Which school subject is a witch good at? A: Spelling! Q: Why did the witch go back to school? A: She was looking for the spelling bee! Q: Why are witches carbon neutral? A: They are always clean up after themselves. Q: Is it true that a witch won’t hurt you if you run away from her? A: It all depends on how fast you run! Q: What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the water? A: A chicken sandwitch! Q: Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin ? A: Ever tried broomstick pie! Q: Why won’t a witch wear a flat caps? A: Because there is no point in it! Q: What do little witches do after school? A: Their gnomework! Q: What do witches say when they overtake each other? A: Broom, broom, broom! Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch? A: She’s forecasting a few sunny spells! Q: Have you hear about the witch that was a little under the weather? A: She’s been casting a few rainy spells all day! Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called? A: An itchy witchy! Q: Why is a witches face like an old hundred dollar bill? A: It’s all green and wrinkly! Q: What do you call a witch that flies in a Concorde? A: Lucky the broomless witch! Q: Why is “S” the witches favorite letter? A: Because it turns the word cream into scream! Q: What does a witch enjoy cooking most? A: Gnomelettes! Q: What does the witch like to eat for breakfast? A: Green eggs and ham! Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital? A: With any luck you’ll soon be well enough to get up for a spell! Q: What is old, ugly and green but is now turning blue? A: Witch holding it’s breath! Q: Why do witch’s use toad’s legs? A: Because your legs did not fit into the pot! Q: What do witches sing at Christmas? A: “Deck the halls with poison ivy! hee hee hee” Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away the her “w”! Q: How do you make a witch itch ? A: Mess up her spelling! Q: Why was there a witch called Mitch? A: She wasn’t very good at spelling! Q: What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks? A: Broom mates! Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats? A: To keep their heads warm! Q: Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge? A: She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings! Q: Why do witches have stiff joints? A: They get broomatism! Q: What spell do witches use to scare babies? A: Boo! Q: What happens to witches when the fly in the rain? A: They get wet! Q: What is old and ugly and goes beep, beep? A: A witch in a traffic jam! Q: Why did the witch join the soccer club? A: Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper! Q: What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph? A: A witch just hit by a high speed train! Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash? A: She wanted a very clean sweep! Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one? A: By her suntan! Q: What’s the different between a witch and a banker? A: The witch is only good at spelling! Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ? A: Don’t bite any witches! Q: What does a witch do if her broom is stolen? A: She calls her friends in the flying squad! Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A: A bird that’s ugly but doesn’t gives a hoot! Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg? A: A cold spell! Q: What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a billionaire? A: A very witch person! Q: How do you know when you are in bed with a witch? A: She has a big “W” embroidered on her pyjamas! Q: What sound does a witch make when she cries? A: “Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo”! Q: What’s yellow and very poisonous? A: Witch infested custard! Q: What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the cinema? A: You miss most of the film! Q: Who went into a witch’s den and came out alive? A: The witch! Q: What is a witches favorite magazine? A: The witch report! Q: What has six legs and flies? A: A witch giving her black cat a ride! Q: What happens if you see twin witches? A: You won’t be able to see which witch is witch! Q: How is the witches soccer team doing ? A: They’re having a spell in the first division! Q: What usually runs in witches’ families? A: Noses! Q: How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea? A: Out of flying saucers! Q: Why didn’t the witch sing at the concert? A: Because she had a frog in her throat! Q: Why was the witch good at beat boxing? A: There was a beating heart in her mouth! Q: What’s evil and ugly and goes up and down all day? A: A witch stuck in a lift! Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round? A: Witch that flew into a twister! Q: What is the most evil, ugly and green creature that goes round and round? A: A witch in a revolving door! Q: Where did the witch get her outdoor furniture? A: From the ideal gnome exhibition! Q: What name did the witch give to her cooking pot? A: “White” because the kettle was called “black”! Q: What is a witches favorite book? A: How to make love spells! Q: Where do witches go looking for a date? A: Whichwitchdoyoulove Q: Why do witches never get hit when walking on a pedestrian crossing? A: They are crossed eyed! Q: What’s a witches favorite film? A: My Fear Lady! Q: What’s a witches least favorite film ? A: The horror film “The Wizard of Oz”! Q: Where is the witches temple? A: On each side of her head! Q: Why did the witches go on strike? A: They wanted sweeping reforms! Q: What’s the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick? A: Don’t fly off the handle! Q: Why don’t witches fly off the handle? A: Because it’s a hard landing! Q: What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? A: The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio! Q: What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S? A: One make spells and the other spell makes! Q: What is a witches favourite hot drink? A: Tea-hee-hee! Q: What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? A: To keep their hats pointed! Q: What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? A: To keep their broomstick cutting edge! Q: Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark? A: That’s the time to go to sweep! Q: Why does the witch fly with a bag of baseballs with her? A: To throw at all the flying bats! Q: Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo ? A: One to get in and one to get out! Q: What do you call a very nervous witch ? A: A twitch! Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse? A: She kept having Disney spells! Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch? A; Two angry witches! Q: Why do witches scratch themselves all the time? A: Because they’re the only ones who know where a witch itches! Q: How did the witch almost lose her baby? A: She didn’t take it far enough into the woods! Q: Why should men beware of beautiful witches? A: They’ll sweep them off their feet! Q: Who’s the fastest witch? A: The ones that ride on a vroom stick! Q: What do witches ring for in a hotel? A: B-room service! Q: What do you call a witch made of cotton and has lots of holes in her? A: A string hag! Q: Why do witches ride on broomsticks? A: Because it’s quicker than walking! Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller? A: The back end of the broom sick! Q: Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in big red blotches? A: Because it was a happy rash! Q: Why did the witch go over the mountain ? A: Because there was no tunnels! Q: What has handles and flies ? A: A witch in her own pot! Q: What happened when the baby witch was born? A: It was so ugly its parents ran away from home! Q: What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A: A fresh air freak! Q: What happened when the old witch went to see a funny film? A: The manager told her to cut the cackle! Q: How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? A: With scare spray! Q: What is evil, ugly and keep the neighbors awake at night? A: A teenage witch with a drum kit! Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch? A: Very worried dogs! Q: What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch? A: One composes and the other decomposes! Q: Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches? A: Because if they were 12 inches they’d be a foot! Q: What did the teenage witch say to her mother? A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight! Q: What kind of jewellry do warty witches wear on their wrists? A: Charm bracelets! Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks? A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy! Q: How did the witch feel after she was run over by a car? A: Tyred! Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed? A: Run! Q: What did the witch say to the ugly toad? A: “I’d put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it”! Q: When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? A: You can hear their brooms tick! Q: Where do witches keep their purses? A: In hag bags! Q: Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? A: Because she thought everybody loved her! Q: Why did the witch consult an astrologer? A: She wanted to know her horror-scope! Q: What do you call a witch that climbs up walls? A: Ivy! Q: What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch? A: One’s a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag! Q: Why do witches get good bargains? A: Because they like to haggle! Q: When should you feed witches milk to a baby? A: When it’s a baby witch! Q: Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? A: She had never learnt to spell properly! Q: When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does? A: Get wet! Q: What’s the best way of seeing a witch? A: On the television! Q: How do witches lose weight? A: They join weight witches! Q: Why did the witch wear yellow stockings? A: Because her grey ones were at the cleaners! Q: Why is a witch like a candle? A: They are both wicked to the core! Q: What do you call an old hag who lives by the sea? A: A sandwitch! Q: What kind of tests do they give in witch school? A: Hex-aminations! Q: What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out? A: A witchhiker! Q: What’s a witches favourite flower? A: A triffid! Q: What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema? A: Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom! Q: What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch? A: A witch in soggy shoes! Q: What do witches cats strive for? A: Purrfection! Q: What do the witch say to skeleton who won’t do any work? A: Lazy bones! Q: What did the little witch have in his rock collection? A: Tombstones! Q: Q: Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime? A: “Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares.” Q: When is it unlucky to see a witch’s cat? A: When your a mouse! Q: Why do witches wear name printed on their shirts? A: So you can tell witch is which! Q: What do witches like to eat on Sunday? A: Whipped scream and slime sundaes. Q: What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick? A: A catastrophe! Q: What do you call a witch’s garage? A: A broom closet. Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas? A: Santa Claws! Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? A: She witch-hiked! - See more at: halloweenjokes/halloween-jokes/witch-jokes#sthash.wp3PYTRw.dpuf
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 01:11:40 +0000
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