Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with my dear heart friend, we had Sunday brunch and just when the pancakes were ready she got a call on her cellphone, I could not tell who but I heard her respond like this No I will not make it to help I was amazed that she too uses the word NO effectively. The lesson that has been the hardest for me to learn was how to say NO. I struggled for many years in a place where there was almost nothing that could belong to me. I simply could not put boundaries, I found myself often looted of my resources and energy; My empathy was my weakness, the humanitarian in me could not walk away without helping! These people need me, if I dont respond who will, be the change you want to see I told myself.... The worst of it all was when the same people forgot all my sacrifices and turned back either for more or against me when they finished what I had and I could not say yes because there was nothing left. Yet they called themselves great friends, close friends I trained myself to say NO. I started with me, I looked at me in the mirror one day and said Nkatha, you are not superwoman on a mission to save the world I recited the word NO and realized that it was not hard to articulate. From that day I have learnt to say NO and nothing is as freeing as saying NO in a kind polite way. I realized that just saying NO only was able to save me from crooks in the name of friends because my true friends stay with me even when I cannot help them out, infact my true friends never demand from me even when they know I can help. So my dear friends, if you were like me many years ago, please say NO. That is the only way you will keep the right friends.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 00:34:16 +0000
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