Yesterday a group of Western soldiers occupying a strife ridden Middle Eastern country went out and rounded up a suspected insurgent. Now, it wasnt entirely clear if he actually was an insurgent or if he was being accused of being an insurgent because of some internal sectarian conflict. They found the insurgent, used enhanced interrogation techniques, and even though no specific judgement was passed down, the local officials had him killed. And now its Holy Saturday. Its a weird place to be as a Christian. Its funny, we have one day a year to liturgically represent the place where we live our entire lives. Jesus is dead. He stood up against the powers of this world and it didnt go well for him. That tortured him to death and he got no super natural help. There was no hand out of the sky to snatch him away from danger. Nope, the authorities stripped him, beat him, and killed him, and the public rejoiced. You look around and a lot of what you see is the powers that be winning. You see studies coming out that show, shock of shocks, that American public policy is set by the wealthy. You see people facing extreme violence for no reason other than existing in ways that powers that be wish they didnt. You see poor folks being exploited in every possible way. You see good people die by cancer that they might not have ever had if they hadnt been exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam. Its Holy Saturday and the world is a grim place. But, were told, theres something better coming! Only a day away! Its going to be amazing, were told. Itll set everything right, were told. But sometimes, you know, it doesnt seem likely. Sometimes it seems impossible that all the powers of greed and violence and death will be overturned tomorrow. That sounds like it goes against every single observed rule of the world. And whats worse is that we simply wont know today. We can argument and dream, we can squabble and hypothesize, but you go through Holy Saturday just not knowing. I have been wrestling with Holy Saturday since my fathers death. Theres nothing like the death of one the pillars of your emotional and spiritual life to cause you to ask the question, Given that things turned out this badly, given that there was no divine intervention to save this person I loved, is... is belief in God a crock of nonsense? Is it ridiculous to believe in an infinitely powerful eternal being that deeply, lovingly cares about each of us as individuals? Is that a basically silly concept? And Ive wrestled and Ive wrestled. A few days ago I had a phone call with a friend of mine whos an atheist. I talked to him about a lot of this. I told him that I keep going back to Jesus teachings in the Gospel about the last being first and first being last, about loving others as ourselves, about how we serve Christ by feeding the hungry, healing the sick, clothing the naked, caring for prisoners and I find them to be perfect. I know that Jesus teaching is better than the systems of violent power that rule the world, sometimes even shamefully under the banner of Christianity. I know that what Christ taught is better. It is the truest thing I know. But sometimes, I worry that we have elevated this man to a divine place because it makes his teachings other worldly and impotent, pie in the sky when we die. A part of me was hoping that my friend would have some sort of answer, that he would say something that would make it all clear, make faith something I could step away from. And that just didnt happen. Instead he told me a very true thing. In your life you will never have these answers. And that stopped me. He was right. You dont get to escape those questions. They are a part of this life, a part of this Holy Saturday. So yes, I do not know if Easter is coming. I do not know if everything will be alright, if the powers of the world and all of their violence and greed will be overthrown by perfect love. But I believe they will. I have faith they will. And on Holy Saturday, maybe thats all you get. See yall tomorrow.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 15:35:07 +0000
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