Yesterday when I went hiking in the forest, I came upon an owl sitting in a tree and when I saw him, I was startled and said out loud Wow and owl to which the owl said What? and I replied I said Wow and owl and the owl said What?. So I said Youre supposed to say Who, but the owl said What? and I then stated emphatically, youre supposed to say Who to which the owl said What?. And I thought just my luck to run into a smart ass owl in the forest, but I wont leave until I teach him not to mess with me, so I screamed at him Youre supposed to say Who. To which he replied What. By this time my face was blood red, my neck veins were distended and I was furious. I tried again- to the owl I yelled at the top of my lungs Youre supposed to say Who. By this time he had changed his sitting on the branch position 90 degrees and so turned his head 180 degrees toward me and said What?. I totally lost it. I was so freaking mad that I tried climbing the tree while screaming You freaking feathered failure- youre supposed to say Who. As I got to within 3 feet of the ornery critter he spit a half digested field mouse onto my head and I fell to the ground causing me to seriously sprain my right ankle. I picked up a rock and threw it at him, but it bounced off the tree and struck me on the forehead. As I lay wounded and confused on the ground, the owl took to flight, screeched Who one last time and defecated as he flew over me with the poop landing on my T shirt. Now I had a half digested field mouse on my head, owl poop on my shirt, a bleeding wound on my forehead and a badly sprained ankle and was so bewildered and perplexed by the belligerent hawkish hooter and disoriented by the pain and the events that lead to my current condition that I couldnt remember my way out of the forest. Approximately 18 hours later I emerged on a trail that ironically lead past an aviary. I found the nearest diner as I was quite hungry and ordered a whole broasted chicken - at last I got my revenge on at least a distant relative of the feathered fowl that rattled my cage.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 01:26:26 +0000
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