You guys, I cried for so long when I started reading your posts. I was in the waiting room at the hosp this morning before my tests, and I sobbed in my chair amidst the other folks for a long time. I didnt care what they thought. I was just feeling all the love. It was at a time when I most needed to get that. I felt filled up, supported, calm and ready for whatever after that. Got a scan and got to watch my liver and gall bladder light up for 2 hours today. Made me feel more enamored of keeping them healthy and whole after watching them function and keep me alive:) The tests looked normal to my untrained eye and to the techs eye too, So Im waiting until thursday for results of hide-a-scan on gall bladder and blood tests for my liver. Pain level keeps notching up. I have been increasing daily dosage of motrin to manage pain. Im at 1500-2000 mgs a day now after 17 straight days of taking. Not really what I want for my stomach, so really wanting to be off of it, but the pain without it is pretty severe. Anyway, I feel like this is turning into a wining fest here. Im praying and meditating multiple times a day to stay open to all lines of communication to people and our creator. Tony Robbins would say(he still rents space in my head) Its not what happens its what you do! or Whats great about this situation? So Im choosing to ask positive questions lest I let the dark side start asking its questions. Which I do. Anyway, sitting in my recliner, just smoked a few for my migraine and waiting to see if the motrin is going to work enough with the ultram. Just started taking Ultram. Very addictive Ive read. Ive only had to take it 5 times in 3 weeks, but 3 of the last 6 days Ive had to. So trying to get off of that before I get going on it. Feels like sleep is doable maybe. I keep motrin, weed, and Ultram nearby my bed so that when pain awakens me, I can decide if I need to just pee, or take more of something to get to sleep. Been waking up a few times a night for a while now. Starting to feel nauseous lately too. Im imagining its from all this pills for so many days now. So I started doing arise and shine cleanse to flush out pill and hospital poisons. Seems to help. Lots of water too. Though I manage to sleep as long as I need in the morning. Pretty insane regimen Ive gotten to. Not sustainable as is for long. So, sun will come up tomorrow and the game begins again. I am going to start spending more and more of my not busy time meditating and talking to my body and sending it light. Only the few very closest friends will read this whole post I imagine. God bless you if you do:)
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 04:35:37 +0000
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