You know, I dont explain my daughter for no reason. I dont try and let you know about her for no reason either. It isnt for my benefit that I tell you things about her. It is for hers. She is aware you think she is weird, or odd. She thinks when you look at us strangely, or make comments about a poorly behaved child or poorly mannered child that you hate her. You dont know us from a bar of soap, but you hate us. If you hate us, that means you think we should die. Because to her, thats what hate is. If your child tells my daughter that they dont like the way her hair is, or that they dont like her drawing, or her choice in music/tv shows/movies, guess what. Its the same. She thinks people want her to die. No I cannot get her to understand, it doesnt work that way. Constructive criticism........what did you say? criticism......she doesnt hear the constructive side of things. Just the criticism. Instead of telling her that this is wrong and needs to be better, tell her exactly what you want, in a manner that isnt an attack on her. Her work is part of her. Telling my daughter to breathe deeply?? hahahaha. It sounds stupid. It hurts my ears. Ignore it.....hahahahahahah you are trying to make me laugh right? Describe ignoring please. In terms my girl can process. She is not stupid nor is she dumb. She is not rude either. She is clever, amazing, brilliant and hilarious....in her own way. Her understanding of social interactions is awkward, her love of routine is extreme, the rules? She adores them. She has a highly developed sense of what is right and wrong. There are no grey areas.....Ever. The sounds of a normal shopping centre/music lesson/PE/sports/martial arts club/the damn christmas parade/a traffic jam/christmas concerts/airport terminals/for crying out loud - certain songs can set her off! Shall we go into things that feel weird? Colours that arent right? Lights that are too bright or flicker? How about smells? Half the time we have no idea what she is on about. But they bother HER. Personal space, this includes a space around her things....not just her. And for that matter her personal space is probably bigger than yours, and you dont invade it....ever. Unless she initiates it. These things can trip some switch in her pretty little head that sends her into meltdown mode. Or, on a good day she will vague out . On a really bad day, meltdown wont even start to build, she will just lose it. We dont want your sympathy, or your pity. We want you to understand that while our girl is different you dont need to make her feel even more so. She doesnt make friends easily, she doesnt trust easily, she doesnt think that things will change, because things shouldnt change. Because when things change, everything else needs to be rearranged to accommodate those changes. ***this is not a dig at anyone, this is more of a get it out of my system before I have a breakdown. Please do not take anything here personally. But, if it helps you understand a little better - well, it isnt wasted then is it?***
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 01:51:12 +0000
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