You know, life is a crazy thing. I know my friends here are in all stages, but this is my stage. I was a very flawed human, gifted with two humans to form and present to the world. I had goals and dreams, a theory if not a plan. They were and are my world. The funny part is when you achieve the goal. They turn out better than you dreamed, but they hit a stage where they dont need you anymore. You find yourself proud and happy, joyful for everything they are, but weirdly jealous and left behind, because for decades you put all you had into them them and now they are them, without you. You back off and let them fly, and force yourself to create a new person, yourself. I dont know if everyone is hit with this stage like I am, this stage where you see how good you did, and where you didnt do so good, and where you dont know quite where to start with this new person, I suppose so, they have names for it after all. I have been bouncing from one obsession to another, searching our families past, frantically finding others who need me, exploring topics to learn, drowning in books and facts and logic. It is growth and progress and the natural order, but it isnt easy. So if my posts are wonky, no worries, I am just in a growth spurt, trying to get a grasp on this next stage. Love to you all, in all your stages, if you are struggling, I got your back, you need a cheerleader, hey I am there, need an ear, I hear you, dont know me well, I am open, give me a try. I am not perfect, I stumble, I suck at keeping contact, I pontificate a bit much, I may use odd words, but I am here if needed. May all your paths ebb and flow to grow the best you.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 04:21:59 +0000
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