just woke up from the weirdest dream. It was my wedding day. I had an emerald green dress with embroidery and crystals sewn onto it, like a regular wedding gown, just in green. I was at some kind of castle that doubled as the hall. My cousin Shawn was going to walk me down the isle...both my parents were there and I was so happy to see them, but they couldnt "take part"; I realized when I saw my dad he was dead, but I didnt get that feeling from my mom, only that she was somehow separate...but thrilled none the less. When it was finally time to go, I had everyone I loved and cared about around me, like a protective group-my family and second family, the sullivans (Wendy Sullivan you were helping me with my makeup)...but other then that, there really wasnt anyone else. They all walked down with me when they called for the "irish bride in green"-walked me down a spiral staircase, like a turret of the castle, past the reception hall into a small stone room. Shawn was holding my hand protectively. But when we all got down there...there was no groom. It was like...I was marrying back into my family; marrying back into my life-where I wasnt always wondering what other people thought of me, just happy that they loved me and cared for me. I started to speak, but then woke up with intense stomach pains. I have to wait another week to see my therapist and see what she thinks, but my own analysis is that I have decided what I want-to be apart of life again...and being groomless isnt so bad, because I have my family and friends. But also realizing that...maybe I want a groom. Maybe I want the wedding, and I want it my unique way. Im going to have to mull this one over some more, but it was so vivid and...revealing, that I had to share...
Posted on: Thu, 05 Sep 2013 08:16:42 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015