people say family is everything, i say bullshit, family can be terrible. there is only one real bond between people, friendship, not something people feel is owed or obligated but a form of accountability and companionship that people freely give you without needing anything in return. its the most disturbing thing in the world to realize at the end of the day everything everyone does is for them selves.. you can only hope you find people who get satisfaction out of being good to you. coming to realize that no matter how you feel or what people say, at the end of the day we walk through this life alone. everyone will take advantage of you if you let them, no one will care as much as you do about how you feel. its a shame people have a need to be social, I miss being younger and being hopelessly alone and sad just focusing all my energy and hate on beating my self down and torturing my body. so much anger and hatred to share with no one to care but my self, every rep putting me in a violent hate filled trance where i fight against all the sick feelings ive acquired over the years. feelings that i hope will never go away, leaving me just as pathetic feeling but without the drive to overcome. the truth is I flourish when i hate my body and will do anything to change it, when all my satisfaction comes from the pride of having been able to endure more suffering and finally feeling like I didnt fail my self by trying to take the easier option. its time for change again, lets see if i can hold my body together long enough to do something impressive
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 18:03:09 +0000
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