series 2 Diary of a crazy in love black woman (Part 11) Dear Diary I was talking to my mother earlier, telling her about my decision since I had not time to sit down and talk to her due her busy schedule. You see my mother is what you call a“busy bee” or should I say a “workaholic”, she does not have lot of time in her hands to sit around and do nothing, because with her there is always a next deadline to meet, a proposal to submit. Managing people is not “pap and vleis”as they normally say. Especially if you are a woman in a “men’s world” as they say it. Which makes me wonder where in the bible it says that God gave the world only to men? Was Eve not there when He blessed Adam? Any my mother is the “do yourself’ type of a woman, “a real diva” if I can say that. I suppose that is what caused most of the arguments between her and my dad most of the time. Since I feel free to talk to Lindi about anything I related to her my family situation and what I like about her the most is that she always gives me good advice, unlike my so called best friend “Buhle” who always talk about men and the “new in thing”. Seeing how my parents’ marriage ended got me worried because I had always looked up to my mom and I wanted to be exactly like her. Educated and independent black woman. But after seeing my parents hitting the rocks and knowing well that my mother is the reason for it, got me thinking twice. I told Lindi that I do not want to be like my mother anymore. I have dreams and wishes. I want to have a happy family, a loving husband that loves me and who I know that no matter how much I am earning or he is earning that will never come between us – like it did between my mother and father. Although I want to be able to stand on my two feet incase something bad happens to him or he decides to leave me one day. And indirectly Lindi agreed with me she told me that “most man”, no man - actually all men are egoistic beings. She said“A man loves a woman who is constantly feeding his ego, a woman who keeps on telling him how good he is – even if he is not good in anything. But a woman must always speak life into her man’s life, not to take it away. She should be his support pillar when times are hard and mostly she must not lack to give him the respect he deserves “as a man”. She paused before adding “Just like we as women love men to compliment us on how beautiful we look, so with men also – Men are obsessed with titles. They like to be and to know they are in control– a man needs to feel and know he is “the man” in the relationship. He must know that he is the one wearing the pants, not you. Regardless of your status in life – all men like to be respected”. You see my mother lacked all of those qualities, she always made my dad feel like he was half of a man he should be. She never supported him in anything he tried to achieve or even respect him in front of his friends. Obviously her salary doubled my dad’s, so you can imagine how that made him feel like. Of course my dad has an average job like most people do, especially those like him who did not get a chance to go to tertiary like my mother did, as you already guessed he is not getting as much as my mom is getting – which that automatically makes my mother the bread winner, because the big chunk of the incomes from her, she used to pay for the house we currently living in, she bought the car we are driving with and she paid for my studies. My dad’s money was used for minimal tasks such as paying the electric and water bill and buying food. So tell me how any man would feel about that? Anyway I told her about my decision and that I do some prison ministry with some of the church members. Hey, I had never seen my mother so proud about me. She even volunteered to borrow me her car whenever I need it. Which means I can visit prison any day I want, like today – because I still cannot take the mystery looking guy out of my mind. Lindi had told me all they know about him and I believe them but I would like to hear it from the horse mouth if he committed all the crime they say he did.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:41:14 +0000
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