so like workparty coming up soon , spy asking me if i go , said dont know yet you going ? she said yeah , later on like she said like i asked pirate if he was going maybe he could drive with you coz i know she said you hear everything its just that maybe he could drive with you and than something like see i can change or something and work on it, but if you dont wanna ...... maybe i heard this or imagined it or i dont know , they think like ........... they are the blame, they are the error, that they do something wrong , it is not that , it is me , totally me and me only , when with relationship or i start feeling more whatever i become totally weird & shit i cannot deal with that sort of stuff ... i know like alot of people like me and if i were normall no sweat & all but i am not and there is nothing that i can do against that ... sometimes i wish i was normall, i tried normall but after a while i just relapse back , i am not comfortable than, in my opinion nobody should change coz than they are not the person the other person was attracted to in first place ... she saw me flirting bit with other girl and looked bit sad or angry or something i dont know , i like her but ........ i cannot have relationship , i know right like maybe like you know maybe i dont know 10 years from now or something than maybe still not some1 who knows , but its just too complicated for me, they dont understand that, my whole life is hmm how do i put this ... adjusted to being single , im comfortable with that , accepted that , sure like you know i like to see her in bikini whatever & all and like who knows man hug & stuff like when im drunk & all that , who wouldnt but when im sober & all ................. i think too mutch , i cant do relationships i wish people would just ............ understand that, accept that, dont see it like its a choice i make or have but that i have no other alternative , i cannot have relationship only thing i can have is just being single & pets that is only way , another sollution is death , either die or single & pets , i cannot have relationships , i get enormous depressed & shit & stuff than people dont get that ... but its okay i am terminator and i can hide stuff , as long as they dont read here than nothing is the matter ... it just sux like that some think like oh hes feeling like this now , wait a couple of days / weeks / months and than he is fine again and i can try again ............ im slightly drunk now but i think there was another person who tried that too .........
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 14:49:09 +0000