theawl/2013/07/rape-joke-patricia-lockwood Also from Reddit: I can only speak for myself but when people tell rape jokes I find it alienating because, in my experience, 100% of the time underlying the joke is an implied assumption that that no one in the room has ever been raped, which re-asserts the shameful and painful feelings that surround my rape. It reminds me why I have to hide my rape-- because rape is so foreign to people. If I object to rape jokes (I never say that its because I was a victim, just that I dont find those types of jokes funny) the reaction I usually get is the complaint that I am being too politically correct. They never seem to consider the possibility that I have a personal stake which gives me an aversion to the joke. It reminds me why I feel I have to be so discreet about it as part of my history---because its clear that people believe rape is so rare and thats why they feel free to joke about it. they clearly believe there are no rape victims in their presence, ever. It puts me in an uncomfortable situation because I can either sit quietly and not object, but be triggered by the joke; I can object in an abstract sense (and get pegged as an overly PC nag); or I can tell them that it hurts me because I was raped (which would turn a joking conversation into a heavy, serious conversation and involve a disclosure that I am not ready to make to most people in my life). So, personally I would appreciate it if people would largely refrain from rape jokes. I havent heard all the rape jokes in the book (I try to avoid them) but those I have heard have been evoking humor based on shock value (which brings up feelings of shame and marginalization for me...Im having trouble explaining more precisely but maybe you can understand?). Like haha its funny to laugh at this thing because its SO offensive lol (and why is rape offensive? rape is suffering. and some of that suffering comes from the actual assault but most of it stems from the shame and stigma from society that you experience afterwards and that never goes away, because you will always have to hide that part of yourself from most, if not all, of the world and that shameful stigma is perpetuated by rape jokes!!). I know that arguing sensitivity in humor can be a slippery slope. but given that a huge percentage of women are victims of rape, I feel like people should not be assuming that no one in the room has been raped when they go to make a rape joke. It makes me mad because these guys I know making these jokes, they have NO idea that rape is so pervasive...but it shocks me how they can be so clueless?! If I were speaking to other victims of rape, I think joking about our shared experiences could definitely be healing. but I dont think thats what anyone is talking about when they talk about rape jokes--- theyre talking about people with no experience of rape making jokes to an audience composed mostly of people with no experience of rape. but a minority of people who have experienced rape are also subjected to those jokes as well.
Posted on: Sat, 07 Jun 2014 21:03:50 +0000
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